i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
