why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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