You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
