He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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