Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
