Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
