And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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