Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
