in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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