she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
