You don't have asthma, your pregnant
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Alive.
So much puke
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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