Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
