id be glad to
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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