I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
