dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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