I could have mohawked her pubes.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
