i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
is wine microwaveable?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
They took my balls.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
