Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
