I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
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