I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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