Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
