guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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