her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
