Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
