she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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