goodnight i made you a song goodbye
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
you never un-have a 4some
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
