On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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