Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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