I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
