What did we do last night that was yellow?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize