I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
