oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
