belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
