Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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