New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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