So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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