turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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