what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
this will be a night to untag.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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