I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Randomize
