Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize