so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
