Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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