Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
