I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
