where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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