it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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