Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
