Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I am one with the molecules
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize