He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
