Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
