mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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