I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Randomize
