I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
