just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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